Resource: Unlocking Your Values - A Step By Step Guide
“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.”
~ Roy E. Disney
When working with a coach, a get-to-know-you question is often, "What are your values?" This question uncovers crucial insights, prompting reflection on priorities and aspirations. Values guide decisions and reveal our true selves.
Yet, not everyone can easily articulate their values. Can you name your two core values? Do you struggle to do so, or perhaps have more than two? How do you ensure accountability to your values, and have they evolved over time?
If these questions resonate with you, know that you're not alone. This article offers guidance for clarifying your values. We'll explore their essence, significance, and methods for identification and strengthening. A workbook is also provided to aid in uncovering your top two values.
Similar to a coach understanding your values to steer your journey, let's embark on a path of self-exploration together. With curiosity as our guide, let's begin.
What Values Are
“I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values - and follow my own moral compass -
then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.”
~ Michelle Obama
Values encompass the fundamental beliefs and principles that individuals hold dear, guiding their actions, decisions, and interactions with the world. They denote the importance assigned to various things or actions, influencing behaviour and activities. Value systems shape the way people live and work.
Values may change over time, or through certain experiences, which is why it’s important to revisit your values every so often (I recommend annually).
Why Values Are Important
“If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested,
they're not values: they're hobbies.”
~ Jon Stewart
Understanding one's own values is integral to self-awareness and personal growth, as they are often formed through personal experiences. These beliefs serve as a compass for navigating life's choices, helping individuals determine what actions are best suited to their principles and ideals.
In essence, values define not only who we are but also how we engage with the world around us, reflecting the essence of our character and priorities. They help you stay aware of your motivations and beliefs. They also help you make decisions that are in line with who you want to be.
How To Identify Your Values
“A value is valuable when the value of value is valuable to oneself.”
~ Dayananda Saraswati
This quote suggests that a value is truly valuable when identified and aligned with oneself. So how do you do that? How do you start brainstorming what your values may be?
An article on BetterUp.com provides useful guidance on starting. I suggest grabbing a pen and paper and giving yourself some time to reflect on the following questions:
Think of the most meaningful moments in your life: What stands out for you from these experiences? Are there any commonalities between them?
Think of the moments where you felt the least satisfied: Same as above. What stands out from these experiences? And are there any commonalities?
Pay attention to what stories inspire you: What grabs you about the story? How does it make you feel? What do you find inspiring?
Pay attention to who inspires you: What values and/or beliefs does this person represent?
Imagine your ideal environment: What do you picture? What inspires you about the space or the environment?
Review the accomplishments you’re most proud of: What did you accomplish and how did it make you feel proud? If there are multiple accomplishments, what are the commonalities between them?
How To Strengthen Your Values
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
~ Gandhi
Gandhi's quote emphasizes the importance of actions and habits in reinforcing values. For example, if you have a value of physical health but you don’t eat well and you’re not intentional about moving your body, how strong is that value?
If your actions and habits aren’t supporting your values, then it’s time to take a look at how important that value really is to you. Or you need to look at how you can put better habits in place to support your value. Either way, there should be a consistent relationship between your habits, actions and values. It is a symbiotic relationship. They are interconnected for authentic growth.
Values Exercise
I learned the following approach to the values exercise from Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. She also provides a podcast episode and values exercise on her website, which you can find here.
Open the PDF in the link provided here: Values Exercise
Circle 10-15 values that speak to you from the list provided.
Once you have your list, start placing them into groups based on themes.
Once you have your themes, try to narrow what is most important to you down to two core values.
Note: Brené Brown recommends only two because it’s easier to remember. This way when you need to recall your values or are asked what they are easy to bring to mind.
When selecting your values, ask yourself:
Does this define me?
Is this who I am at my best?
Is this a filter I can use to make hard decisions?
Conclusion
In conclusion, understanding and aligning with our values is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. As Roy E. Disney aptly stated, "When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier." Throughout this exploration, we've uncovered the profound significance of values in guiding our actions, shaping our identity, and determining the direction of our lives.
As you embark on your journey of values exploration, remember that it's okay if the path isn't always clear. Values may evolve over time, influenced by experiences and insights gained along the way. What's important is the commitment to self-reflection, authenticity, and alignment with what truly matters to you.
Feature Photo by Karla Car on Unsplash
